nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize