so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
