wakey wakey hands off snakey
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
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