His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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