Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize