Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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