I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
