do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
