It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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