he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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