I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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