Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
