Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
