Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
