Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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