I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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