jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize