you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
