For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize