she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
