My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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