I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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