He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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