It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
