Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
i just wanna soil my oats bro
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
you inspire me to be a worse person
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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