Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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