you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
third nipple confirmed
Sorry about my life...
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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