I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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