I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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