The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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