Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
