Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
