Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
