I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
