On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
