Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
