so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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