Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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