listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize