i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Text me some of your sweat
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
