Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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