I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
