you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
This is not my ceiling
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
