Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize