the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
