she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
And then he peed in my hair
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
