His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
