I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
