So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
