I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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