you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
