I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize