There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize