No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
