I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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