Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
