I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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